There is nothing more important than growing up in the presence of one’s parents. Personally, I and my siblings grew up in the presence of our parents. We were three kids born in a span of three years, so my mother had quite a handful of work that required her to be around most of the time. Being a nurse in a community hospital, she could work during shifts, so that she could have more time with us. As we were growing up, my mother nurtured our talents; as such, she made sure we participated in different clubs’ activities. My big brother was a footballer; my big sister played tennis while I was in the drama club that suited me. We directed our energy to these activities and stayed away from trouble during our adolescent years. One thing that was quite evident as we were growing up is the stern discipline my mother instilled in us. She took her parenting quite seriously, and I remember the spanking I got when she found me fighting my big sister.
Although I do not have children yet, I look forward to having them in future. My children will be raised differently from the way I was brought up. I want my child to be able to talk to me if they have a problem or troubled. I remember turning to books to understand the changes I was going through in puberty. My mother bought us books but never talked to us about the changes we saw in our bodies. I want to be a friend to my child and provide comfort and assurance when need be. I want my child to come from school and open up to me in case she is being bullied about her teeth or why she has many friends. I want my child to ask for permission to go for a date and not sneak through the window when we are asleep as transparency in families is a building factor (Firestone, 2014). Secondly, as a parent, I will allow my children to be more independent-minded and make decisions on their own. As a child, I detested decisions being imposed on me, and most of the time I rebelled openly until my parents learned that I was a different child. I believe that children, when growing up should be allowed to gain their independence. The duty of a parent is to offer guidance and not impose decisions. An example is when my daughter comes home one day and says that she wants to be babysitting the baby for payment. That would be a welcome idea because she has realized that she does not have to ask money all the time if she can work for it.
Though a strong advocate for freedom for children, I believe strongly that boundaries have to be present at all times. I may allow my daughter to socialize, but she must be home before 7 pm. I do not want her to use the freedom to get into self-destructive activities. Limits have to be existent as they guide behavior, and therefore, a child cannot be allowed to over-indulge in watching T.V. This because, in the long run, the consequence falls on both the parent and the child (Lindbeck, 2006). All things are good when done in moderation, and too much freedom is likely to destroy children. Research has shown that children who were given so much freedom when growing up and in adolescence become troubled adults and most of them fall into depression (Lindbeck, 2006). An individual’s character is molded through discipline and resilience. On the other hand, freedom is not freedom when it destroys a person’s character. I might not spank my children because of the fear it creates, but I must teach the children the value of discipline. If my daughter keeps coming late because she is free to date, then I might as well withdraw her freedom of dating.
Firestone, R. W. (2014). Compassionate Child-Rearing: An In-Depth Approach to Optimal Parenting. Cork: BookBaby. Retrieved June 16, 2017, from https://books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&lr=&id=-7VUDQAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PT17&dq=Firestone,+R.+W.+(2014).+Compassionate+child-rearing:+An+in-depth+approach+to+optimal+parenting.+BookBaby.&ots=15vZtg-9n5&sig=uPh9uDV1O-u5Vm5DUXpvPOAgaS0&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false
Lindbeck, A., & Nyberg, S. (2006). Raising children to work hard: altruism, work norms, and social insurance. The Quarterly Journal of Economics, 121(4), 1473-1503.