Male and Female Communication Styles
Male and female have communication styles that differ. Therefore, in order to assist men and women communicate more effectively, it is important to understand the difference. Comparing male and female communication style, the male communication style is better. In most cases, men converse for the purpose of establishing and defending their individual status and their views by asserting themselves and challenging others. When it comes to comforting and supporting the other, men usually do so by honoring the other’s autonomy and keeping away from communication they consider as condescending. Conversely, Women consider communication as a way of establishing relationships with others. In most cases, women engage in talks to share about themselves and learn about others. For women, talk is basically the essence of a relationship (Wood 23).
In order to maintain their individual status and principles, men usually speak to display their knowledge, skills or ability. However, they tend to keep away from disclosing personal information that may make them appear weak or susceptible. For example, if someone shows interest in an issue, a man may say “the way you are supposed to handle that is…,” or “Do not allow them discourage you,” or “it is better if you just let them know.” This exemplifies the tendency in which men give advice. In view of relationships, offering advices does two things: it concentrates on instrumental actions – what someone should do or he/she should be- and does not recognize feelings. Second, it conveys authority and maintains control. Among men, offering advice is considered as a two-way interaction whey they expected to receive and give in return; however, it may be viewed as unsympathetic and patronizing by women whose communications rules are different (Wood 23).
Men utilize communication to accomplish instrumental objectives since they socialize for the purpose of doing things, and achieving goals. In their conversation, this is normally articulated through problem solving efforts that are aimed at obtaining information, finding facts, and suggesting solutions. Among male sexes, this is normally a relaxed orientation, as both spokesmen value instrumental objectives. However, conversation between men and women are normally disrupted by a disagreement on what the informational, instrumental focus implies. For most women, it feels like men are less concerned about their emotions. For instance, when a male sex focuses on the giving solutions instead of showing sympathy, after a woman shares her problem, she may consider that he does not care about her emotions and distress since she does not understand the man’s ways of showing support; giving suggestions on how to solve the problem. Women prefer expressing understanding and sympathy as a way of showing support instead of giving suggestions on how to do away with a problem, which is the best way of handling issues (Wood 24)
Just like women, men can also be considered talkative. In most situations, apart from holding their own discussion men also tend to control the conversation. This tendency is normally evident in preschoolers. Men also tend to converse more frequently and for longer hours. However, in their conversations the male sex utilize other verbal actions for the purpose of maintaining conversational dominance. They may redirect talks by employing what the other speaker said as an opening for their own subject matter or they may do so by interrupting. While both men and women are considered talkative and engage in interruptions, men do so for dissimilar purposes (Aries 36). As compared to women who use interruption to show interest, the male utilize interruption to run the discussion by challenging the other speaker. This thus makes men’s communication much more interesting than women’s communications who stick to one particular topic throughout their conversation. Based on the aspect of talkativeness, men often talk much at work places where they share ideas, find solutions to problems, and communicate with a purpose. Conversely, women talk more on the phone at home and in social situations. Thus, more often, men communicate about important issues than women. For instance, in official meetings, men usually participate actively than women, regardless of their position in the organization. In professional discussions, the females participate less actively in responding to papers. Conversely, in an informal situation, women tend to participate more actively than men (Crawford 149).
Men usually communicate in assertive ways. As compared to women, Men’s language is regarded direct and authoritative. In most cases, they avoid using uncertain discourse like hedges and repudiations. This is regular with gender socialization whereby men utilize conversation to express themselves and take positions. Thus, men are always considered to be sure about themselves. Women in their communication in most cases use verbal hedges, which imply uncertainty. Men are also considered to converse more abstractly. They often speak in general terms based on concrete/real life experiences and distant from personal feelings. This makes them sure of what they talk about. In most cases, men avoid talking about personal feelings. Instead, they talk about more important things, such as current events, business issues, and personal accomplishments. They build friendship through engaging in cooperative activities (Crawford 68).
Aries, Elizabeth. Men and Women in Interaction: Reconsidering the Differences. New York: Oxford University Press, 1996. Internet resource.
Crawford, Mary. Talking Difference: On Gender and Language. London: SAGE, 1995. Print.
Wood, Julia. Gendered Interaction: Masculine and Feminine Styles of Verbal Communication. 1994. Retrieved from http://personal.tcu.edu/pwitt/Wood.pdf