Improving Communication in a Relationship
Sometimes back before I joined college, I had a very hard time with people who would correct or criticize me especially in public places. I used to react very angrily even for the smallest mistakes. Many a times I wrestled to keep the behavior under control especially at home but still I had trouble. I remember some days when my mother would suggest for me to draft the play date schedule for my younger sister. I would defensively blow up and say “it is not my responsibility to do scheduling, why doesn’t she do it herself!” Most of the times, I tried to avoid the blames, escaped and behaved as perfectly as I could. In cases when someone would find a fault in me, I would lose my temper. In most circumstances, it was a struggle to keep a sense of humor, I swear.
Fortunately, one day in my previous class, I was explaining a proposal paper from the slides to my classmates in an open plan office. Unfortunately, my lecturer approached me and ranted openly in front of the class about how he was unhappy with my delivery approach. I was furious and felt offended, I chose to remain calm and requested him to allow us discuss the issue in his office. Once in his private office, I humbled myself and agreed to take responsibility for any of my negative approaches, but I found his method of dealing with critical matters completely unacceptable. How come he did not have all the facts related to the discussion yet he jumped to conclusions. I am grateful since my calm approache diffused the situation and later in the day he came and apologized.
Psychologist’s analysis reveals that criticism may have detrimental effects on one’s productivity and performance. Rejecting it, ignoring it or not taking it positively may stifle one’s personal and professional development (Beagrie et al, 2007). It may be a double-edged sword to the flesh, but dealing with it in a constructive manner allows us to learn and take advantage of the situation. It is important not to take criticism to personal levels. Developing self-awareness and being a good listener is quite crucial in dealing within criticized matters. Always avoid interrupting the person criticizing and instead listen carefully in order to understand the allegations that are made against you. Furthermore, every person needs to understand that they are part of creating the culture where criticism may be viewed as a helping mechanism of resolving problems in the society (Le Pla, 2009).
When criticized, most likely an individual will find resolutions that are positive to both the parties involved. It is important to demonstrate an ability to be genial and willing to find a solution especially if you do not like that situation. Always take away the negative tendencies and talk and move less as you hear more. Act in a genial manner to save both face and the relationship. It is important to ask valid questions related to the matter in order to find your fault instead of accusing them of misrepresentation. In most circumstances, honor commonalities instead of unearthing the differences. Contemplate on the better moves next time you are caught in similar circumstances and if better, exercise prayer (Beagrie et al, 2007). In conclusion, you would have turned your negative situation into a positive opportunity and become a better person.
Beagrie, S., & McAvoy, J. (2007). How to… handle criticism. Occupational Health, 59(5), 24-25.
Le Pla, R. (2009). How to handle employees from hell. NZ Business, 23(5), 28-31.